thoughts...

So, life is busy for everyone.  Life is tough, can hurt, but it can be filled with great fun.  Life...what a small word that causes so much of us to reflect and think.  Life...it is powerful, fought for, and fought over.  Life...for my son Kellis, life dealt him a blow yesterday and he was strong enough to do the right thing.  In that strength to do what was right, he was able to give information to an adult that will help out many children in the long run.  But...sometimes the cost of doing what is right is a price that still hurts. 

I know that that is a bit vague, but that is how that is.  Kellis basically had difficulty making and keeping friends.  Why?  Well, we moved a lot when he was younger, he didn't understand the social skills that it took, and then he didn't have the right place in which to practice. 

When he started public school the girls all mothered him and he was only friends with them.  Then at Spectrum he became fast friends with C.  C and K did many things together.  K was learning about hoe to be a friend because of C.  C had patience!  wow...a lot of patience.  K threw fits, and tried to control situations, and only wanted to do what he wanted to do.  C was just easy going and went along.  They had fun and figured that they could get along and do a lot together. 

Grades 3 and 4 where good years for K and C.   K considered C his BEST Friend next to his cousin H.  That was a special spot.  K didn't let many people in and so to have C and H there was a special thing.  And then life happened...as it does for all of us. C was growing as well and was learning that certain environments were not his type anymore.  C left Spectrum and went to a new school in 5th grade.  K was a little lost, heart broken, and well...lost.  When I would talk to him about it, he would change the subject...it was not something to really dive into.  So, the other "friends" at school where who he was going to have to choose from.  Some fit, some did not, and one became a friend out of default.  K and him did things together, but it was never like C.  Nothing has ever been the same as C.

So at the start of 6th K started in, but this time, he was older.  K has had things happen to him that has given him wisdom.  K knew what to do about friends.  He was a lot better at keeping them, making them, and earning their trust.  He had learned that through his experience with C.  He knows now that he wasn't the best of friend to C as he could have been.  He "wanted to make up for that".  But, when you are at a school that is small, it is tough to try to figure out a new group and better friends.  But K is K...he gave it his best shot.

Ever since K has been given the priesthood, he has matured and taken it really seriously.  His quorum is steady, stable and accepting of him.  He has learned a new level of how to be a friend with their help.  Scott and I are very pleased.  K is doing great.  K reaches out to the "underdog" and looks out for them, is nice to them, and wants them to have some success.  He is looking beyond his own needs and is reaching out to others. 

Unfortunately, yesterday was a costly day for K.  The new "friends" had decided to expose K to topics and subjects that went against K's standards.  He fought through it for a few weeks, and then finally he had to be a whistle blower yesterday.  He even had to blow the whistle on his "only real friend from the 5th grade".  Tears...tough choices....and more tears was the result.  He knew that it was the right thing to do, but a very hard thing to do.  He told me this through tears and pain, and a shaking voice.  He was/is in pain over it.  Last night he said, "I'm really alone now, I don't have C anymore, my 6th grade friends anymore, and I'm so far away from H that it is really tough!"

I listened gave hugs, and just listened.  He shared more and more--deep insights of his heart.  I felt like I was talking to a 17 year old.  I honored that he loves us enough to share this hard thing for him.  He talked about that he knew because of the strength of the Priesthood and the Holy Ghost that he could get through it.  TOUGH...but he has a testimony about the Lord will be with him as he does hard things.  He said, "maybe this is that war against Satan.  It's not like WWII with guns and stuff, it's like right at school with people you think are your friends."  Powerful thoughts from a 12 year old.

After scouts, K came home and asked if he could finish talking to us.  Scott and I witnessed growth and maturity from him like we never had before.  K was amazing he wanted to know things about his personal past.  He needed to know why things had happened to him.  He needed answers.  They were freely given last night.  He was strong, listened, and gained an understanding about why we went through things  4 years ago.  K was strong, but humble.  Finally, K asked Scott to give him a blessing.  It was a powerful blessing.  Something that I'll never forget.  Life...sometimes these moments are our pivot points, and my prayer is with K today as he goes off to face it head on again.  K--you are a leader, a warrior, and someone in whom I am well pleased.  I love you.