Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I will Miss you Grammy

I was awakened this morning early by Isaac. He needed my help and so off I went to help...then suddenly my parents were home...4:20am...


I settle Isaac, and mom comes out and tells me that Grandma is passing away...she says that grandpa and a little girl are there to be with her until she goes.

My heart aches and is sad. I cry...I go back into bed and snuggle against Scott.

Scott: "what's up?"
Me: "My grammy is passing away...grandpa is there.
Scott: "oh sweetie." hug, silence, more tears fall...hug.
Me: "Do you know, I think the most amazing thing is about Heavenly Father is? That He allows the veil to thin, and to have our loved ones come and to take us home...so we won't be alone."--more hot wet tears...
Scott: hug, and silence.
Me: "I'm glad to have grandpa and the little girl come to take her home...sniff...more tears...
Scott: hug...
Me: "I will miss my grammy...I pray for the tender mercies of the Lord to allow her time to be calm and to think when she gets home...and I pray that she will remember...I want to be with her again."

I just wanted to share my heart this morning. I pray for anyone who has lost a loved one. It is difficult, but they are in a place of love...and they won't be in pain or hurt anymore. I know this is true. I felt that grammy said goodbye to all of us at her birthday party. Her sisters were there, her three children, and many of her grand and great grandchildren were there. I will be forever grateful that we went. That I hugged her, that I talked to her, that she saw all 5 of the children, and that I got to say goodbye. I have her energy, some of her personality, her drive, her stories about the farm, about life, and I have her recipes and her love. It was such a good day...now tomorrow November 25th is her real birthday. Happy 98th...I will miss you grammy.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Great! Grandma's Birthday!!

New Family picture! I'll take it! Everyone is looking forward and kinda smiling!!
Little Virginia and grammy!

Grandma and her sisters: Shirley, Afton, Millie, and Annis

The cake...it was right side up when I took the picture...

Grandma is so surprised that we all came! She was just bursting with tears!

Dad and the band. He was in his element!

Grammy and me!

WOW!! I hope I get the GREAT genes that allow me to see and live a full life! My grandma Annis (the kid's great grandma--although the family saying is "great, great, great--that's enough greats--grandma) turns 98 on November 25, 2009. My dad (grandma's oldest child) threw the party and it was fantastic. I wanted my kids to have a wonderful memory of grandma and so we packed them all up. We talked about how badly we wanted a family picture with great grandma and so...THEY DELIVERED!! YEAH!

I love my grammy so much. She has taught me so much about family history, stories about the farm, hard work, saying her baby sister from after she fell in a hornet's nest, being asked by her dad to do extra chores because she was sooo fast at them, great recipes, great cooking tips, great gardening tips (I'm still working on that), and on and on. I just feel so blessed to have so much of her as part of my life. I was so thrilled to be there for her 98 birthday. She just lit up when she saw all the kids! She just was thrilled with the girls and Kellis talked and talked to her. Garrett of course said, "wow your skin is soooo old and wrinkled. It is like a baggie elephant." And Isaac said, "mom, can we come her for Thanksgiving? (me---Blink!!), I love to play Pool! " (There is always a different motive).
Dad played and played for the residence and they just enjoyed themselves. I think dad was in his element and enjoyed himself as well. And I have the best memory of that day...watching my grandma with her three sisters, Afton 105, Millie 92, and Shirley 87 all talking about their memories and their lives together as sisters. Family!! They are amazing!

Happy Happy Birthday Grandma! We love you!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Silver teeth

OUCH! All that Halloween candy caught up with us. Maggie had to go get two of her 4 cavities capped today. It was not pretty. The nurse had me put Maggie-Sue on my lap. Check! Then the Dr slipped in back of her and gave her a shot on her hip. OUCH!!! she just looked at me and cried! "You Lied!!! You LIED!! They gave me a s...h....oooo" And out she went.

Not always the most fun part about being a mom. She hugs you, trusts you, and then from behind--literally--ouch! There goes the shot!

Well once we "woke up" she kept wanting a hug, but not from me. She asking when I would not have 3 heads. She would shout! She would scream! Then she would calmly say, "where is my sparkle ball? Do I have silver teeth? Do you have silver teeth? I want my SILVER TEETH!!!" Then back to-- you guessed it--SCREAMING! "Why do you have 6 eyes? Why are you so silly? Why are you in my dreams? I am dizzy, I want a drink, I want a corn dog, I want, I want..."

Well, all I can tell you is that 3 hours after the fact she finally "calmed down" and looked at me and said, "There you are! Where have you been?"

Kids and the dentist. It is a challenge for everyone!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Times of Trials

I want to start out by saying thank you to everyone who reads our blog. I also want my readers to know that what we share here on the blog are from our hearts. Sometimes when writing, we bare of souls, share our thoughts, bring up humorous items, and then wait for responses. Some of you share, some of you simply read, and some might form opinions of what has been said. With that statement all in preparation, I have something to share.

Sometimes life is filled to the very brim with everything anyone can want: an eternal family, children, good living arrangements, happy vacations, great accomplishments, small family moments that are so precious... That is what life is like for us again. My heart thanks my Heavenly Father everyday for Scott's entrance into our family. His temple worthiness, his love for the children, and his love for me are shown daily. And my gratitude is overflowing with emotion and love for it.

Even with all the good, some parts of life still happens: 1) children get sick, 2) medical bills can be a challenge, 3) parents get sick, 4) other medical bills challenge us, 5) being taken back to court by my ex husband to fight for unsupervised rights to the children, 6) lawyer bills, 7) a car accident and paying to fix the car, 8) a daughter with two severe dental needs, 9) holding her at the dentist and trying to calm and comfort her while they fix the infection...holding her and watching her eyes get so anxious, it is heart breaking, 10) watching another Son have other dental issues along with great anxiety, and finally 11) watching all your savings (which is why you saved it) go to all these emergencies. It can be a bit overwhelming. And as the old saying goes, "that's life."

What are we to learn from all of the good and the mixture of challenges? That Heavenly Father only loves some of us some of the time? No...that Heavenly Father promised us that it (life and all the experiences) would be a testing and proving ground. What does it test and prove us for? It tests and proves us to see if we will move towards our Heavenly Father out of love despite all that is challenging us. It is deeper than mere obedience. It is fuller than just following along; it is to show my devotion and my willingness to follow what Heavenly Father has asked of me. My heavenly Father has asked me to "come...follow him." My response is this, "I will follow you in faith, believing, never doubting, and having a heart of repentance for those human moments that catch all of us." It is a simple response, but that does not make it easy.

I like to talk for a moment about today's court trial. There is a scripture in Alma 34:14-17 that gave my soul comfort last night. It merely states, "This is the whole meaning of the law, every whit pointing to that great and last sacrifice; and that great and last sacrifice will be the Son of God, yea, infinite and eternal...He shall bring salvation to all those who shall believe on his name...to bring about the bowels of mercy, which over powereth justice, and bringeth about means unto men that they may have faith unto repentance. An thus mercy can satisfy the demands of justice and encircles them in the arms of safety..." My heart broke for my former husband today. I understand his plea to want to see the children, but it takes more than just a trip to the farm to have the children understand. It takes fathering, loving, teaching, giving, and unselfish love.

I am not a vindictive or hateful woman. I am however a mother of 5 precious children and I will fight for their mental safety and health. While I was married to my first husband, we together made plans: plans for children, plans for houses, plans for the business, and plans for our life. But as in all parts of life, choice is a part of everything. I chose to follow my temple recommend, and my former husband did not. He chose alcohol, drugs, pornography, and ultimately adultery. I chose to stay for another 6 years trying to help, pleading, hoping, and praying. I did what I could. I wanted that happy life! I wanted all of this to go away. I wanted my former spouse to repent and move back towards all of us. I wanted things to be for the good of the family, but that was not to be. I did what I could; I was not perfect at it, but I exercised all of my strength in holding our crazy life together. But ultimately for the mental and physical health of the children we were guided to leave...For this I am judged by people around me.

All I know is that judgement is held for our Heavenly Father to do and for the bowls of Mercy to be extended from our Savior. I will follow what is needed for our children to stay strong in the gospel, to help them grow and foster testimony, and to support and love them with all the energies of my soul.

To see how our children can socially communicate, help each other, help others, create gifts, think of others in the family, love one another, think beyond themselves, and have success in church, school, and in the family is the calling that Scott and I have. It doesn't always make the melt downs, and the anxiety of a scary nightmare just go away. Things have to be worked at. We all learn from each other. We learn about them. Scott and I get to see who these precious children really are. It is a privilege to do so. This is parenting, and this is what our children need: a listening ear, help, devotion, humor, observation, guidance, discipline, understanding, and love...love that comes from Heavenly Father.

I know that my former husband's parents want to have a relationship with the children. I know that I have been the topic of much discussion to why this is not happening. But here is my understanding from much prayer, time will tell on this. That is the only answer that I have been given. I do not know what more this means. I only know that much. To have connections with a family for so long and then to not, it is strange. But I am only following what I know is from Heavenly Father. Again I'm sure that many will debate me on this. But I will not debate my Heavenly Father's answer to me.

At this season of the year when families will gather together to share meals, family traditions, activities, and so forth, it is difficult. I want you all to know that leaving right after Thanksgiving 2006 was very difficult. I didn't know how the holidays were going to work. I didn't know much other than life in the very hour...but Heavenly Father did. He sheltered, feed, nourished, and guided this little family. Following prayers in 2008 it was revealed to me that our family needed Scott. I didn't argue, I simply followed. Please to everyone out there, please have patience. That is all that I know. Answers come. I thank you all for your time in reading this...it is a trial of the heart.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Happy Birthday Garrett Mico-Ten

Garrett with Dallin! His Hero!
You are here! You made it!

Wow! Let me see...let me see.

Grandma: Okay now! Everyone come over and sit down...

What did you get??????
WOW! Can you believe it that Garrett is ten years old? Neither can we. We are so happy for him. This is his first birthday party that he wanted. He invited Sister Furhman, and cousin Dallin. That is all who he wanted. The party went like this: 1) decorate the arch with all the balloons, 2) get out all the party horns, 3) make sure that the dinosaurs would be given to all the people, 4) have little Ceaser Pizza for everyone, 5) have some yucky cupcakes for all the guest but not me, and 6) "I will sing my birthday song...and then have presents."

Garrett sang his whole new birthday song...it is something that is amazing---we will have to post it on u-tube. Anyway he sang the entire song, we all clapped, and then he got to open the presents. Fun! At first he would say, "THIS IS A WRONG PRESENT!" Then mom in her loving tones would say, "You get what you get and you say, THANK YOU! Garrett would respond, "Okay you are right, I think I might like it."

The night went beautifully. Garrett's first birthday was a hit. Sister Furhman was so happy, her giggle was so fun for all of us to hear. Garrett was thrilled with Dallin. It was so important. It was emotional, but it was just for our little man. Happy Birthday Garrett! We love you.