The Swing

Well, pregnancy hormones and emotional swings are interesting to understand and "survive".  Friday I could feel a "swing" coming on, and to top it off, I was also fighting a cold.  That is a combination that Satan loves to play with.  I was able to dig up every terrible thing, bad feeling, wrong, jerky moment of my life and replay all the "yuck" that accompanies it.  And, of course to top it off, I had a few "Murphy's Law" moments like getting a ticket, and watching the food prices jump another notch and see the fighting of the kids just be the "cheery" on top....sigh.  (can you all feel it?)

So, my heart desires to be that mother to many, fix the perfect dinner for my mom, sisters, and mother-in-law and have flowers everywhere for Mother's day.  Well, my cold got the better of me and baby told me to stay down and so...down I went.  Hubby folded laundry, children were quiet, I did my sewing projects for Christmas...yes I said it...this year is a homemade one, and I just sat.  I cried, I prayed, I thought, I pondered, and then the emotional wave was over.  I slept, I was refreshed, and I was back to my old self.  In these deep moments of emotional upside-down-ness...I have a stable and sound voice.  It is of my sweet Hubby.  He let's me cry, say all the terrible things about myself, gives me the hug, and then just smiles.  He says that he never has seen all the "bad" and he knows that my heart is good, my life is good, and that it is just a low day.  He is right.  He allows the pity party to happen and then he sees the rebound and just smiles and laughs.  After my funks, I look back and smile and laugh as well.  Silly...oh well, there they are...the SWINGS of Motherhood, pregnancy, and Murphy's law.  We all survive it and when you can look back with an honest reflection then you can grow from it.  Good times.