Keeping things real

There are times when I am very emotional, very dry, very bland, and feel like a drink of stale lukewarm water.  Some of these bland times pile up and the blandness can become a reminder to sit and reflect on the spicier, healthier, happier, and tougher times.  In those reflections, I begin to compare and contrast.  Through out the reflection my wonderful brain can bring back all of the emotion with it.  This is a talent that can be exhausting. *Side note: I have another talent that through the reflection I was usually listening to music of some sort and I can recall my actions, smells of the room, what I was wearing perfectly when that song comes back on.  **Second side note: I can do it with any movie that I've seen as well.  (Alison and Stefie you two can totally relate to this musical inspirational talent).

During the reflection--complete with the emotions (happy, disappointed, frustration, anger, elation, giddiness and so forth)--I find myself gaining the perspective that helps me to take a look at one thing:  was I, did I, or am I grateful to the Sweet Lord for this?  Am I grateful for the reflections that keep things "real?"  I have to say, yes--but it takes time for me to share the gratitude.  And I will say that I am NOT quick at throwing the praise toward my Heavenly Father--I know one more flaw revealed--but I'm working on it.  

So, in my reflection of keeping things real, yesterday (8/25/12) was a day that I deeply appreciated.  I was with my children yesterday and I heard their stories, I listened to their hearts, and I felt a special moment with each of them.  I was reminded how amazing my children are...how so many have over come a feeling of being abandoned...which is a tear jerker for me.  I can understand how it feels from a wife's point of view, but to have that feeling from a parent, that is so hard for me...one thing I always tell my heart, I can testify to this, is the fact that the Lord NEVER left us...Heavenly Father never left us alone.  I am so grateful for this knowledge...it is a rock base of my Testimony that I know that They know me, they know my heart, they know my flaws, and they still just Love me...they love all of us...

As I look at Marianne and Rhetten, they do not understand that loss, but what they do for my family is show them love...real giggle-y love...kisses, laughter, hugs, playing, and sharing kind of love.  They have healed so many wounds in my children they are a true blessing.  Their love therapy that they have brought to the family has been worth more to me then I can truly express.  I love to watch the girls try out their mothering skills (they are learning...and getting it step by step)  and I love to watch the boys try out their fathering skills...it is precious.  

Anyway, these moments keep things real for me...despite my choices.  In one of my favorite books ever there is a character who says, "...it is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities..."  I would also add to this, "even though our choices will not be perfect in this lifetime, they should show what our hearts are set towards..."  These moments keep it real for me.  Sigh...and blow/honk...sorry just blowing my nose and wiping my eyes. 

Happy Sabbath!  I pray that you enjoy your reflection today...