Gratitude for my Family

Sunday Mornings...I feel a connection to something more on Sundays and I love it! The Spirit is so amazing and it brings a family such clarity, He helps to communicate with Heavenly Father and Jesus right to your heart. It is such amazing communication...I feel like I'm in a holy place. I love the time I have to pray, read, and just ponder. I can be sad, or have mixed feelings, or have un-clarity, but after time to write, and listen to music...and have a constant prayer in my heart, the beauty of eternity comes clear. It might sound unbelievable to some, but my heart just thrives off the spirit and that heavenly connection.

As I live my life and dedicated it to my Savior and to my family, the world becomes a different place for me. It becomes a place of learning, and of not just surviving trials, but to understand how they shape and mold me. I often have a thought in my head: "I won't ask the 'why' but how can I get through it?" When I ask the how and not the why, my heart and head are filled with answers. Do you know what the funny thing is? The "why's" are usually answered through the blessing of time. If any of you are asking the why...just give it time...your Heavenly Father loves you and He will hold your soul and show you in His timing the whys.

This is how I "get through things". Bottom line...my Heavenly Father knows the tender mercies of my heart. He knows what I need, what my dreams are, what I long for, and what I hold sacred to me. I love my Father in Heaven and my Savior. I have learned through experience that They have the power to love all sons, daughters, and all children of the Heavenly Family. I have had a glimpse of that power and love.

As I look into the eyes of my children I see Heaven. The trick is to see that as much as possible each time I look at them. My heart is breaking right now as I try to write this... My Kellis, I see potential, love, and obedience. I see a the beginnings of a young man who is smart, talented, and a leader. He suffers in pain daily with a disease that doesn't allow him the "joy of eating". Despite the constant pain in his throat, belly, and bowels...he has joy. Only through the power of the Lord can you have that. I am honored to be his mother.

In my Garrett's eyes I see someone who has seen the Savior and knows Him. He is more connected then I can even tell you. Garrett is an angel who has the opportunity of living with us. To be a mother of such a soul is an honor...and my heart breaks and is touched.

My Zickles...he is filled with enthusiasm and energy! How to teach such a spirit...with love. Some of my most tender moments of being a mother have occurred in helping, holding, and looking at my Isaac. His name means laughter...we do that with him...and his laughter is infectious. As his mother I am so honored to see what innocence and joy are. I love his belly laugh, his care and concern for his brother's and sisters...he and I share the same spirit and sometimes our love of life is overwhelming to others, but to the Lord, we are loved.

My Margaret Susanna is the girl I prayed for. My heart longed for a daughter and I was blessed. I will never forget holding her in the hospital. We were the only two in the room...the snow was falling...and I looked at someone who had just her Heavenly Father to come home with our family. It felt like Christmas...like a story book. Maggie-Sue also has energy and drive for life. She knows what she wants and will work and work for it until she can obtain it. That is a gift, and as her mother I need to help her to shape this drive and desire for things of the Lord. I love her talents, gifts, her giggle, and her girl-i-ness.

My Virginia Grace. She was born during great tribulation and strife. My heart was heavy with an eternal load. My vision was blurred and my days were hour to hour with her--I did not have the strength to balance what I had. I learned how to leaned heavily on the Lord to be healed so that I could care for her. She in turn would look at me while she nursed. She would give me sloppy kisses, and she was/is a snuggler. Her name took on meaning--deep meaning: Virginia for the strength of her ancestors, and the Grace of my Heavenly Father to fill in all the gaps I was missing at that time. Her snuggles and hugs are that of an angel expressing my Heavenly Father's love to me. Those hugs were needed in just the right time. I need to have her know what her love...the grace from the Lord did for me at that time.

Now to my Love: Scott was a direct answer to a prayer that was said during my son's accident. It had a ripple effect throughout the universe...truly. I cried out to the Lord that I could no longer do this alone. I needed not just help, but I needed a team player, a companion. I knew that as soon as I said that I thought: How is that going to happen? I'm going to have to start dating and when would I have the time for that. Luckily for me Heavenly Father is in charge and he provides the way. The tender mercies of my heart where all answered through who Scott is. He loves and adores me. The love of adoration is service and sacrifice--think of the other person's needs above your own. Truly long to be with that person, and serve them. The Christmas carol "Oh Come all Ye Faithful"...Come let us Adore him, Come let us Adore him! I feel that adoration from Scott...it is a tender mercy that Heavenly Father answered. I love you Scott.

My expressions this morning are from a deep well of gratitude and love for my children and for my Fiancee. My family is my most precious gift I have on earth. My testimony is my anchor in my life. My relationship to Scott is now what is allowing our family to be whole again...the depth and that is eternal. I will be forever grateful. My expression are for being my testimony of the how the Hand of the Lord is in all of our lives...I bare this testimony of love for my family and love for him in His sacred name Jesus Christ Amen.