Murmuring

Sweet Children...They all have their moments.  I mean just look at my Margaret Susanna Giauque Leprechaun! Sweet right?  I need more pictures like this to remind me!

WHY??????   UGH!!! NOOOOOO!  DON'T WANNA!  You did it!  Not me!  No YES, Na-uh, Ya-ha, Na-uh, Ya-ha!!

Ahhh, the chorus of love, right?  I have two family members who are at each other constantly.  Yes, I know it is the age.  Yes I know that it will happen.  And yes, it is a battle.  But, how can you find and ESTABLISH peace in such an atmosphere?  What are the fights about?  "that's mine!" (some silly plastic--broken I might add--thingy).  Or, "they are breathing my air!" Or, "It is my turn!  NO!  IT is MY turn!!  Na-uh!  Ya-ha!!  So after another round of the two going at it in Grandpa's music room, one got a smack on the butt and the other one had to "re-boot" this morning and start over.  This actually put one child back to sleep...which is what they most needed.  And the other, after reading to them, is now in a better mood. 

I understand that PARENTING is full of days like this.  I know that there are choices I can make as a parent to just 1) leave it alone--plug them into something electronic and just sit back, 2) send them to a seat away, or 3) actively research, figure out, and understand the situation (complicated by a lack of theory of Mind with Autism Spectrum Disorders).  I choose 2 and 3, however, I sometimes don't always know the next step...so seat aways help, and I offer a prayer to figure out things, but I don't always get the answer to prayers that FAST.  But, I'll keep on going.  Parenting it the toughest job I'll ever love.  But really, fighting  at 7:02am?  We hadn't even started the whole day. 

Ok.  Breath!  After morning chores, weeding, (reading is finished), pick up, we are going to the Library.  It is a "Library" day, and we are hoping that a distraction will help.  But ultimately I need to figure out what is eating them inside.  Why do they just have to claw, scratch, and fuss at each other?  I know that as a kid I did most of my fighting because I was just drawn into the hurtful words and teasing and just had to fight back.  I guess I'm just seeing a mirror image of what I used to do, but I am determined to do better then that.  Parenting...my "kryptonite"--MURMURING/WHINING.  I'll stand strong and take deeper breaths.  Any advice and support?  I'm all ears!

Family Investment for Summer 2011

How many of you are tired of the "I'm bored!", or the "there is nothing to do" or the house falling apart, mommy screaming at everyone to clean up, and asking, why are we all fighting, why is this a mess, why, why, why, why??? (Do any of you have these kinds of words come out of your mouth? I know I do, so I am working on myself and this routine is helping!) I have an age range of 12-1 year and so this covers a lot of smaller families and so forth. I look at it as a 9 week summer camp or "family camp". It is very helpful and the ultimate goal is for the kids to "gain an appreciation for what it takes to run a family".

Anyway, here are some of the things that we do:
I have 4 days of rotation:

1) Service day: this is where we make things for other people, cut the grass for grandparents, clean for your brother or sister, and so forth. Their motivation is for extra computer time on Sat.

2) Adventure days: we can go to the park--anywhere search on the net and find a new one, swim, go to Dino park, Zoo, go on a hike, bike on the trail, and so forth. They love these days and to have an adventure day they need to have completed their reading/weeding for a week (for hikes and parks) or for a month (to go to the Zoo and "big" stuff like that).

3) Home days: sometimes things at home just need to be done, shopping, reading, projects, recover from sickness, tired, and so forth. We have ASL to learn for baby, and we need to work on this daily.  We can watch a movie marathon (only 3 per summer), DEEP CLEAN--closets, and the yucky parts that we all hate, and so on and so forth.

4) Library days: we rotate to the 7 different branches of the Davis county Library system and check out things. It is a new look on a very important part of our summer. IT breaks up the monotony of only going to the same library every week.

WE have a chores schedule (this even happens on Adventure/library/home/and service days):

Each child has a set day for dishes, picking up certain items (in our house it is things like, shoes, socks, papers, dvd, and toys), making the bed, all folding laundry, and so forth. On Sat we do the same and add dusting and vacuuming, bathrooms, and cleaning out the car. They are earning a day at the dinosaur park (Kellis is earning time to go to a movie in June--the park is a little too young for him)

We have a morning routine:
breakfast, reading, then weeding (it is important that they help with this to learn how to work, and help to make the home look beautiful and that it takes work to eat yummy things from that garden--ok, my kids just want the pumpkins for Halloween, but hopefully the idea is there), Then math, then an hour of free time (it is NOT tv, computer, or anything electronic--except of listening to books on cd/tapes).

We do lunch at the same time (to stop the grazing) and then they can have two hours of some TV time. This is all they get for the day. So if they choose a 2 hour movie at 2pm, well, that is it! They are very careful to budget this time. (while they are watching I'm doing the finances, FB, journals, blogging, reading, sewing, or working on a project that I can concentrate on--it keeps me on my toes to not go over as well). Now granted there will be those "summer" days that just drain you, everyone is tired, or sick and I will declare a "movie Marathon day...I have only 3 of those planned for the whole summer, but it is just a guideline.

They have an afternoon routine: following lunch, baby takes a nap, fold laundry, practice music, do craft times, and so forth. Those that have dish night also (and anyone else is invited to help) has to help in preparing the dinner--again cooking life skills are learned here.

They also help in planning the family food for the week, the shopping, the budgeting, and how they can make it taste good. They are becoming VERY aware of how much money it takes each week to feed the family. Kellis and Isaac are shocked. Isaac always says, we shouldn't eat as much so that we can buy legos...I hope he is getting the point.

The three oldest have to help with sorting, cleaning, and making sure that the pockets are cleaned out of the laundry. (case in point: Kellis left a small fountain pen in his CHURCH shirt...now it looks like a RAINBOW attacked it...he is MAD! He now has to help use some $ to get himself a new shirt...it made a lasting impression). The three youngest help with folding towels, unders, and sorting into the boys, girls, and mom and dad pile. It is getting easier to do, because one week we didn't do it and no one had clean unders for school...again, lesson learned.
The last thing that they are helping with the planning of the Family trip: food, hikes, route to travel and so forth. It is cool to have their input.

These are just some of the ways that we spend our time together. Sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you all. Thanks for waiting, and I hope that wait was worth it.
Just remember to keep the chores real, the rewards real, and a calendar/schedule so that the kids can mark their progress towards what they are earning (for us, going to places is a huge reward).

***(for example to get Garrett started on this he had to see exactly what he needed to do to mark off each day to get towards the DINOPARK. Last year he needed a small treat (like 3 skittles after each chores was done in order to keep him motivated--I started slowly fading this from 1 for every 2 chores per day and then 1 for every 3 or 4 done per day and now he just works for MARKING off the day that brings him closer to the DINOPARK). That way it won't be vague, but it will be tangible.

Start small (on chores and rewards) if this is your first attempt, and gradually increase it. RE-vamp and tweek things so that it works for your family. You know what is best for them, so be proud of them and when you see your "harvest" for the family for the summer of 2011, it will be worth it. Let me know how it goes, I'm going to let you know my success and failures (that hopefully I learn from and tweek). I think we can all help each other however we can. Good luck and Welcome the summer of 2011 :)!!!

The Love of Children

Hiking in Ogden along the foothill trail.  Isaac jumping the creek, Kellis showing how it is done, Garrett checking for trolls, Margraet wishing she could swim, and Virginia doing the Egyption...love these kids!  They all went on the hike for my Birthday present.

Children, especially mine, have given me a perspective of love that I would have never understood or grown to accept, or love without the experiences that I've been blessed to witness.  I think what blows my mind the most is how forgiving my children are to all of my mistakes.  They are willing to forgive my yelling, my rolling eyes, my "pecking or hounding" of "pick up this, clean up that, did you get your homework finished, we will do it and you will be the one to finish it...". 

They are even willing to forgive my anger and my frustration.   Even children you are neglected, abused, and verbally put down...they still love...and try deeply to keep loving those who hurt them. Why are they so willing to do that?  Why are the able to do so?  Are they just born with it, or do they just desire to be loved that they will over look all the follies?  It really amazes me.  I watch adults who, if they have the slightest grievance against them, they will hold the grudge for decades.  Why not the children then--why don't they hold onto the same grudge?  What makes them so different? 

I can answer it, "be humble like a child." But, why doesn't that always stick in my heart and mind?  All I know is that I am so humbled, feel a little guilty, and mostly awed when (even after I've yelled or been upset or frustrated) Margaret will hug me at night and say, "you are the BEST mommy ever!  I just blink, sigh, feel a little panged, and hug her back hoping that hug will express my acceptance of her love and willingness to forgive.  I hope to learn this pattern more and more with my students, the adults I work with, and own children.  If there is one thing that I learning from this is that I'm going to live to be 110 so that I have enough time to learn it.  One step at a time right?  yep...one step at a time... :)

Great Aunt Afton...an Insight to more of Who I am

Saturday was my great Aunt's funeral.  She was 106 years old.  Born in 1904, she saw the Wright borthers' first flight, the sinking of the Titanic, was a teenager in WWI, a voting judge for 50 years, a hard worker, an incredible seamstress, and she had a quick whit, poetic journal entries, a love for story telling, making friends, making a point to always "do" something, take time for others, gather every kind of "Ben Franklin saying" and use it all the time, be positive and relax, love and live life to the fullest, and keep your faith till the day you pass.

As I was sitting there listening to the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren recount their memories about Afton, I was taught something important: I gained a sense that maybe my family roots are a little broader then I first understood.  I knew that I gained by tenacity from my Grandmother--Grammy Annis.  She had the "never give up; pull yourself up by the boot-straps; scream at the birds; put your emotions into your hard work and then you won't go crazy" type of attitude.  She also had hands that were well worn from hard work, knotted and swollen from arthritis, and could still grow anything, make a pie in less then 5 mins, and had some stories to tell about the farm.  I thought that that was the most of it...what I had gathered from the Brown side. 

But as I was listening I discovered that some of the other traits that I have come from Afton as well.  I was able to gather a balance of myself, and why I feel the way I do, have to optimistic view on life, and why I love story telling/writing/reflection.  It was helpful to understand.  It was like another puzzle piece was put into place in my portrait of life.  I am grateful for that insight because I can now draw on more of who I am more and more.  These are the moments that fill your soul and give you an insight that is life changing.  The discovery of who I am is not complete...that is the fun of learning new things all the time.  My prayer is that I remain flexible in my learning and allow life (the trials, the joys, the magical discoveries that are sometimes hidden under a rock) to shape me into the person that my Heavenly Father knows that I can become.  Just wanted to share.

The Swing

Well, pregnancy hormones and emotional swings are interesting to understand and "survive".  Friday I could feel a "swing" coming on, and to top it off, I was also fighting a cold.  That is a combination that Satan loves to play with.  I was able to dig up every terrible thing, bad feeling, wrong, jerky moment of my life and replay all the "yuck" that accompanies it.  And, of course to top it off, I had a few "Murphy's Law" moments like getting a ticket, and watching the food prices jump another notch and see the fighting of the kids just be the "cheery" on top....sigh.  (can you all feel it?)

So, my heart desires to be that mother to many, fix the perfect dinner for my mom, sisters, and mother-in-law and have flowers everywhere for Mother's day.  Well, my cold got the better of me and baby told me to stay down and so...down I went.  Hubby folded laundry, children were quiet, I did my sewing projects for Christmas...yes I said it...this year is a homemade one, and I just sat.  I cried, I prayed, I thought, I pondered, and then the emotional wave was over.  I slept, I was refreshed, and I was back to my old self.  In these deep moments of emotional upside-down-ness...I have a stable and sound voice.  It is of my sweet Hubby.  He let's me cry, say all the terrible things about myself, gives me the hug, and then just smiles.  He says that he never has seen all the "bad" and he knows that my heart is good, my life is good, and that it is just a low day.  He is right.  He allows the pity party to happen and then he sees the rebound and just smiles and laughs.  After my funks, I look back and smile and laugh as well.  Silly...oh well, there they are...the SWINGS of Motherhood, pregnancy, and Murphy's law.  We all survive it and when you can look back with an honest reflection then you can grow from it.  Good times.

Finding blessings

There are moments in my life that when I look at all that I have (both positive and things that I can't seem to see the silver lining in), I am astonished at what I am blessed with.  Today I was needing to explain to my children what some of these blessing are: mainly them--all 7 of them. 

When I served my mission I had a very real understanding about my 5 children and what they would look like, who they were, and just a feeling of love!  I knew that I was going to have a family of that size.  Then while pregnant with Margaret I had a dream about a little girl...she was about 9 months old, and she was just beautiful.  This little girl was no one I felt I knew.  She was not one of the "five".  So I just thought that it was something for me to think about...and see when this little one was going to get here.

Following Margaret, Virginia was born and during that stay at the hospital I was awakened with a dream about a little boy...again this little boy was no one that I "knew". It took my breath away because I knew what my current situation was like at that time there was just no way that this was going to be possible.  I remember praying and feeling complete comfort...I thought, ok, it is in the Hands of the Lord.

Once Marianne was born, I knew that she was that little girl who I had seen while pregnant with Margaret.  My heart was just full!  I knew it!  My heart just was overjoyed!  So, when we found out that this one was a boy, my heart was just filled with comfort...I think this might be the little boy that I saw when I had Virginia...we will see...count the blessings...they are everywhere!  Look, ponder, and you will find the answers....  And if I can say just one more thing, Trust in the Lord.  He really does know the beginning to the end.  He knows what we need.  He knows how to bless us.  With God NOTHING is impossible....I have so many witnesses of this that I have to testify of it.  I just needed to share!

How do you break a tie?

How do you break a tie of three to three?  Just add one more!  YEP!!!  It's a BOY!  That makes the boys team the winner!  Go girls!  Cheer them on!  It all works out in the end.  The Boys win.  Scott is over the moon! (Thanks Cousin).  "Jr" has all of his parts, strong heart, mind, big tummy, shoulders, and chest (ouch!), great blood flow in the cord, kidneys, heart, brain...bladder full (and so was mine sheesh!), long legs, long arms, chubby tummy (or wait, did I already say that?), daddy's nose, Giauque lips (quack, quack), and is there anything from me?  Well, we will just have to wait and see. 

(I'm convinced that after having 6 children...I'm simply the host.  It seems like I don't pass on very many physical traits to my kids...except for one thing...My SMILE!!!!  And that is what captured Scott's heart...maybe that's why he loves us all.  ahhhhhhh!

Here's to the 16th of September!  Happy pushing!  Go lucky # 7...prayers for continued health (for Jr and mom), hopefully not a scorcher summer, and to finding a football that he can through at age...3 hours?  (I think that is what Scott said.)  Happy NEWS!

Haircut Adventures

Kids:  Can we go to the Park??
Mom: (I'm dead tired but I'm going to go...) Sure.
Kids: YEAH.  YEAH! YEAH!!
Drive to the park with the new digging toys that the bunny left them...

Kids: Let's GO!
Mom: Ok, I'm just going to rest my eyes...I need 5 minutes

Play, dig, play and build and dig, and play and ahhhhh, quiet!  Sleep....ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Door comes open..all kids pile in...and we buckle in Marianne.  Hum...Something is on her shirt.  It's like fur?  Were they by a cat?  Upon closer inspection...AHHHHHH!  It is her...hair.  :(

It took a year to grow her hair...and now it is cut to the scalp in 7 places, so I had to ahem, "fix" it.  DEPRESSING!  Great...Happy Easter...I know just who did it.  So when I ask her, she looks at me and with the "deer in the headlights" look--and I know the truth.

Seat-away for 20 minutes so that I can think of what to do and to not start shouting or losing it.  And in the mean time I need to cut, ahem, fix the new hair due, call Scott and give him the news (he took the boys and his dad shooting) so that he has an hour to cool down, and well, try to figure out what to do with Virginia.

I tell her that she has dishes for a week and that she will have to talk to dad about what happen...TEARS!  but it has to be done.  Haircut adventures....sigh!

Splish-Splash at Church!

Marianne's thoughts: Hum, Mommy is teaching.  So I get to be with Daddy.  Give daddy big hugs, love him...YES!  he put me down on the ground.  Now I get to run and waddle around the big gym.  La, la, la, la, la...Fun.  Look!  He is chasing me!  Fun YEAH!!  Oh man!  Daddy picked me up.  Well, I'll point to here, and look at that...walk in the hall...la,de,da,de,da....WOW A big door!  It has a picture of a daddy figure on it.  hum...I wonder that that means?  Oh well, la, de, da...

This is a bright room...it is shiny!  It smells like soap over there.... but over here it smells like...hum...wait!  NO!  Don't put me down daddy!  I'm going to cry...whaaaaa--wait, look at that it is a white sinky-thingy-on the wally---thingy.  What is that?  waddle, waddle, toddle toddle....

WOW! there is a sink at my level--and it's on the wall! I wanna splashy-splashy!  Her the water is cold!  YEAH! Splishy, splashy! La, da, de, la, da!  This is so much fun! Cold splashy water...and in my Sunday dress, with my daddy, at church in a room with lots and lots of splashy sinks! So fun--I wonder what it tastes like? humm... Hey wait!  What are you doing DADDY?  That was my sinky you just took me away from!

Dad's thoughts: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Groooossss! STOP!!!!! EEEEWWW! Where is the SOAP?!  Okay, don't panic...okay washy washy, oh gross!  Ok I can handle this...it is okay, wait don't put your hand in your mouth!  STOP! Wait till I wash them up!  STOP!  Okay, rinse...rinse....UGGGG! 

Marianne's thoughts: hummm...we are leaving the "shiny sinky room"....la da la la...oh wow!  we are back in the big gym!  There's mommy!  Walky-walky to mommy oops! Trip on the chord.  cry a little....  AHHH!  Mommy picked me up! Mommy picked me up!  YEAH!  I'll give her a big wet huggy!

Mommy's thoughts: Teach, teach, hold baby...why is she so wet?  Teach, teach...my hubby's face is bright red...hummm...baby wet, hubby red...teach teach...Say amen, sit down...I bet I'm going to hear about this story....

Love you Marianne!  Love you Hubby!  And I can report, she is alive and well after her first splishy splashy at the Church Urinal...all survived...all is well.  Smile!  This one made me!

cheep

Ok...what is wrong with me and blog update?  I'm too cheep to buy (for 5$) 5 more GB of photo space on my blog.  Why?  I don't really think that it is real--I don't trust it?  It's like, "we now have something else to charge you...mmmmuuuuuuhaaaaaa."  Am I a little untrusting?  yep.  Anyway, I'll cough it up...because I love to update with PICTURES, and so I just need to do it.  Sorry for being an untrusting boob about it, but there it is.  That is why I have NOT updated the blog. 

sigh....I just need to pay for it and put, 1) Isaac's party, 2) trip to the Zoo, 3) room change, 4) Family stress...that is a long one...get ready for reading glasses on that one, 5) spring up dates, 6) Marianne splashing in the urinal...good times, 7) tattle-telling (he's breathing my AIR!), 8) My sister is coming to UTAH to show off her Missionary son!  You go girl!  First Grandson Missionary :), 9) Conference learning, and 10) need to get the story published.  I know that it is a lot...but I'm going to get it done.  By the weekend at least half of these posts should be up.  I have a plan...See you all soon!